~Poppy~

After adding my cousin as a friend on facebook, I found this picture of my grandparents in her pictures... Ashley I'm sorry if you are reading this.. I totally stole this from you!!

This picture brings me to tears when I see it! To some it's two old people kissing- to us, it's the example of love and patients that will forever be ingranted in our minds and hearts. It's about a man who taught all of us about unconditional love and a good time.

When I was an infant my biological grandpa passed away. I had maw-maw all to myself... it was amazing!! We would go and play and do all sorts of fun things... yes, I still remember! When I was 4 1/2 I was told that she was getting married. I remember being super confused and not really understanding what was going on. I knew that I needed to be excited because all of my older cousins were as well as all of the adults.

Let me back up and say that whenever maw-maw would come over, it meant that we were going to go have fun and I would spend the night with her.

After their wedding (p.s., it was amazing... power wheels and swiming at the reception!!), I remember looking up at her as she was saying good bye to my mom and I didn't understand why I wasn't going. I'm going to confess here that I did not like whoever this Charlie guy was(poppy) at this point!!

Time went along and thinks got a lot better, even though they lived to Atlanta, we saw them all the time. He had lots of toys and tricks and chocolate was always in arms lenth! It was amazing! He taught emily and I how to shave (our face!!), how to do magic tricks and he would even juggle for us! It didn't take long for us to let him move in as a grandpa.

I remember after I moved away after high school and was thinking about all of the times that we would hang out and how good he was to me and my cousin, the example that he set for us though his actions, and I realized that he was more than just "Charlie". I called him up and told all of this and let him know that his new name was now "Poppy." I liked it. It was good for him.

So last year we got the devestating news that he had luekemia. He fought the good fight and was discharged with a clean bill of health and most of his hair! We were stoked. We all just prayed so hard and could not believe at the age of 87 that he had done this.

Then at the end of last summer we found out that it was back. It was back and they couldn't fix it. Maw-Maw was in denial and thought it was just a slump that he was in. We all knew better. We rallied around him. The night that he took his last breath was a night that I will never forget.

For the questions of "is there life after death", "do we really have a soul", "do we have soul mates"... the answer to all of these is YES!

The last few days that we had with Poppy were hard, they were hard on Maw Maw and on Henry. Henry was amazing, he stepped up and really took the lead. Poppy's family from Atlanta came and visited him during the last few days. He was in and out of it and would moan when we was out of it. Maw Maw would come in and talk to him and he would stop immediately. He knew what was happening and he wanted her to be by his side.

The night that he passed Maw Maw went in there and laid next to him and she talked to him for about 45 minutes. She told him how much she loved him and how he had made her life so complete and happy. She told him that it was okay to leave her but she would see him soon.

Emily and my aunt Linda were in the room when he took his last breath. Emily said that immediately you could see that his soul was gone. His spirit, his presence was gone. There was something in Maw-Maw that died too... she will never be the same.

In the days to come, all I could think about was how much this man impacted our lives. How he changed almost 25 people, just in our immediate family! I started thinking about how he had influenced me and the choices that I had made. How protective he was of his family. How kind and generous he was. How he was so compassionate and patient. How he was with my mom, and how jelous I was that I was not. That he finally got to bow at the feet of Jesus and sing with the angels. How he treated my grandma would forever be in my mind.

So while this picture may seem so silly from a mac computer and two old people who don't even know what a mac is- to me they are our worlds. They have poured into us, taught us about life and manners, and that love does wait, to follow your dreams, to have a man that loves you so much that he will be there forever!

Poppy, I love you and can't wait to see you!

His Hands

I feel like a dork for making 2 posts in one night... however, I think that it's neccesary.

So tonight, Frank came over, even though he wanted to hang out with the boys, to help me move furniture around. He told me that he would, so he did. He shows up and I can tell that he's ready to go and play so I tell him to get the move on. We started to take the grill around the building so that they are by my door... OUCH!! I totally busted my ankle with the grill. I mean there is flesh hanging out of my wound. It was so nasty... and blood everywhere. All over the apartment, all over frank, all over my flipflop.... I know dad, I should have been wearing shoes- shut it!
Frank was amazing, he went into firefighter mode. He got me to the sink where he started cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. I was a mess, I was crying and hooting and holloring. The whole time he was so patient with minimal eye rolling and hushes. He kept saying "I know sugar, I know". We then moved to the couch(which I refer to as torture time!) where he got me cleaned up and bandaged up.

While I'm sure that it is amusing to this of such torture, I think about what a kind person he is. I think that how amazing he is and how gentle his hands are. While they are strong to protect and rough from providing. They are the same kind and gentle hands that cared for me.
It makes me thing of my mighty Lord that has these hand also... He says "Fear not, for I am your God"... how many times a DAY I ignore that. But how many times do I ignore Frank when he shows me that.. NONE! Oh how i am convicted of not trusting and knowing with all my heart!

* I will post a follow up once the nasty part is gone and doesn't make me want to vomit looking at it~

A dollar short and a minute late!

Last night Frank and I were joking around and made bets as to which of the 5 couples that we run around with are going to accidently get pregnant by this time next year. Seriously, out of the 6 couples that we are friends with, one is still dating, the other is already married and the other 4 are getting married in August... I'm in wedding hell!! But seriously, are we the normals ones that are getting married in our mid 20's?
Are we ready for this, to become one with someone... so give up our right to "our way"? To have to share a bed for the rest of our lives, to have to share groceries, no more "my half of the fridge"! I'm getting ready to have a permanent roommate that is never going to leave, that is always going to be there. What is crazy is that we are going to be legally bound to eachother... what the crack! The best part of this whole thing... I never have to do the break up thing ever again... yahoo!!
Sometimes, I feel like I'm a little late. My girlfriends from high school have been married for years. They are all starting to have babies... seriously? I remember football games and spring breaks! Not bottles and pack and plays. Am I just late on wanting these things?

Lovies, Dovies and babes

For the 4th of July, Frank and I packed up the car for a long weekend in Myrtle Beach with the Family. When we got there, things were already kicking. We all loaded up again and headed for the grocery store, leaving grandmother behind. What a scene. We had more food that i thought possible for 10 people to eat! So the weekend was awesome... we ate, played on the beach and had amazing conversations. After the first night, my dad decided that our condo was not good enough and informed us that we would be moving the next day and to our surprise we GOT BEACH FRONT!! What a great treat! That afternoon; Carson, Brad, Amanda, Emily, Frank and I moved all of us to the our new condo, it look 5 bellman carts and 2 grocery carts, but we did it.

As a thank you for our big move and only one lost pillow, my dad treated us to cracker barrel a few nights later. As we were trying to leave (imagine molasses moving in January... you get the idea), Frank, Carson and I were looking at baby clothes and laughing at all the cuteness. Well one think leads to another and before I know it, Cynthia is buying Frank and I baby clothes!!

That night, I was looking at them and thinking. How is it possible to miss something that is not even here, that is not even made? How can you want something so bad that you know that you can not have right now. How can your heart be so full for something that you know you are not ready for yet?

So yes, is it a little premature to have these? Absolutely. Are we ready to have kids? No way. Do we want them? More than anything! Do we know what is in store for us? No way, but I can't wait to see.

I don't need you anymore!

For the last 8 months Ryder and I have been hanging out. He tells me about his Mimi and Nanna, the next trip that they are going on, what colors he likes, what he wants to eat, that he likes beer, all the different flavors of lollipops that he likes, what construction equipment that he wants to see... did I mention that he is only 2?? Yes, the little man is 2 and will be 3 in October. We have a blast together. He is very independent, except doing up and down the back steps at home. Today was a very sad day... he told me that he didn't need me!

As I watched him go down the stairs like a big boy today, i was so proud of him. Of how much progress that he has made.

I think of myself and how teachable I am. I think that as we drift through life, we think that we only learn the big stuff.... don't drink too much- it makes you really sick, don't be mean to people- they won't like you, don't date jerks- they break your heart, etc. But those are the things that we can learn from other people. Do we notice the little things that we finally master... going to bed on time, daily quit times, faithfully praying for friends and family, talking to someone because you know they really need your ears.... what about those things? Are we growing? Are we moving forward?