That is how I feel. While walking from my host house in Villa El Carmen, Eduara (the translator) and Rebekah (the host's daughter), they were talking and of course I didn't understand what they were talking about. I was just walking and looking around at the beauty of what the Lord had made, soaking in the culture, the smell... and then it caught my eye... the big ugly, fat, dirty chancho. I started to think about that chancho and myself. How my heart, my insides, my soul is a chancho. It is disgusting! The maker of this world, the King of Kings, the Lord of these nations breathed life into me and I have the nerve to ignore Him. How dare I be tempted to give him the first of my fruits, the first part of my day. So may times when I pray I do all the talking and when I want to "hear" from Him, I give him like 10 seconds before I am distracted by the wonderful husband that I have, what we are going to have for dinner, what my friends are doing and that I want to go and play or that heaping pile of laundry that haunts me.
I ask, "Lord, where are you?" but I'm so blind by my pitiful world that I can not see him. He's everywhere, he's in my gorgeous apartment, my wonderful job, the eyes of my husband and friends. He's in the trees, the ocean... he's everywhere.
I feel as though my faith is too simple, that I might as well put it in a little jar and just set it up on the mantle and when i need something, get it down and rub on it. That is how I treat my King. He has blessed me more than I can ask or imagine and all I give him is 10% of my fruits and my time... occasionally. My soul is a chancho!
So what is my action plan:
- To dig deeper, to get in the word and spend some time with my maker.
- To search Him and find him.
- To search and understand my purpose, why he has put me here.
- To serve his people; to feed the hungry, heal the sick.
I do not wish for beauty and gold, I wish for my soul to be full. To live this one life I have to the max. To leave a legacy that will carry on. For when I stand before the throne I want the Lord to say, "job well done my good and faithful servant."