Monday, November 9, 2009

Dreaming of the furture

This morning as I sit here typing on my little computer at work, working on aged deliquencies, property status reports and marketing plans, I feel that there is something missing. I feel as though I should be planning play dates, making a grocery list during naptime, wishing a lunch date with my sweet hubby.
I feel like I am living a life that is not my own. School, work, hectic schedules. I feel as though each week plows by and little was accomplished. While, I leased several apartments, made an "A" on the paper that I did last week and have completed that math test 3 days before it was due, I feel like I haven't accomplished what I want to have done. That heaping load of laundry... that disorganized closet that haunts me at night time and laughs at me, those empty picture frames that have been leaning on the wall next to the kitchen table since may, that coat closet, ugg- all nightmares!
I AM very thankful for the things that I do have, don't get me wrong. We have two cars, that qualifies us in the top 5% of world population. We have a fantastic apartment that we would not be able to afford if it weren't for my job. Oh that's another thing, my job, that 9 to 6er that pays me well and has rockin' benefits. The other things, we can WALK TO CHURCH! How cool is that, and we are thankful. We have a cute puppy that is getting out of damage mode, and we love him even more now!
Maybe it's holy discomfort, may it was bad burrito's... I don't know.
I was talking to Frank about it last night and he was saying he felt the the same way. He doesn't know what he wants to do, well he KNOWS, but it's not going to happen right now. So in the mean time, he is having a little personal identity crisis... I started freaking out because this man who is suppose to have it all together and is leading me is having questions popping up all over the place about his means of providing... AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Until the Lord moves in us, we shall be on our knees and stay where we are, working hard... lovin' eachother and that sweet pup of ours!

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