Saturday, November 6, 2010

My heart is broken.  It breaks a little more everyday as the reality of my loss becomes more and more.  What happens to my family now?  Our glue, our matriarch, our central hub is now gone.  Where do we go for Christmas?  Who is going to make breakfast casserole and monitor the wrapping paper fights?  Who is going to buy the pretty cakes and make sure that we have a home to celebrate a birthday party in?  Who is going to make the "maw's creamy coffee"?  Will it taste the same?

What about the love that she gave?  Will my heart mend from the love that it will no longer get from her?  What about the encouragement that I NEED from her?  When I am worried about the future and she tells me about then she had 4 young babies and they just made it work... I have one and she promised me that I will make it.  What about those silly cards that had horrible pictures drawn in them illustrating me driving from Charleston to her house to see her and her cat... my mailbox will be so empty, so will my heart.  What about the horribly sung birthday messages that would be left only voice mail... I kept them until Verizon forced me to delete them.

What about the future baby Robertson's, what will I tell them, how can I tell them, where do I begin to tell them how amazing she was?

Maw, Abbey, Annabelle.
Her marriage to poppy was incredible!  You can read my thoughts about that here.

Maw-Maw has taught me so much in the short 27 1/2 years that I had with her.  She taught me that life is really short and you have to marry your soul mate.  That love does prevail and with lots of hard work, you will make it.  She lived her life teaching us that with courage and strength you can concur all that is placed before you.  Her generosity, compassion and love was her essence.  But most importantly what she taught all of us, for the love, do not leave the house without lip stick and a fabulous cocktail ring!

Maw Maw, I miss you already and I can not wait to see you in Heaven!

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