My last post, I had said that we were going to buy this really cute house. It didn't start out cute. In fact, that super hot day when all the bugs in South Carolina were on Maxville Rd, we were there also, looking at this really gross crack house. But we saw the vision, we bought into it. We started to pray about this house. We prayed that the Lord would open this door or close it. That we would honor Him. That is house would honor Him. We prayed that if it was "no" to give us a sign, make it a clear one. The time line was 6 weeks, 8 to be on the safe side.
Don't you hate how hindsight is always 20/20? I do. I find it annoying. Very a.n.n.o.y.i.n.g.
They said that for our price, we would get carpet and linoleum. Not hard woods and tile. No garbage disposal. Other things that we wanted were a no go but were okay with for now. We chalked it up to business. Then came the big things...
The termites. First inspection, the guy said "run". The second opinion said it was fine, just needed some work.
Then there was the sub flooring, or lack of. Where they moved a wall, they didn't finish the sub flooring to make it flesh with the other sub flooring.
The soft spot in front of the back door.
And the list goes on.....
Are you getting my point? Are we not blind? Thinking back on it, I would smack myself, or punch my
pregnant self! Every time that something would come up or wasn't done right or ANOTHER delay, we would pray about it and say, oh it's just character development!
So finally in the last hour and still no peace about the house, the Lord slammed the door shut. I mean SHUT!
As all of this was going down, I freaked out. I mean freaked out! Our sweet friend had let us come and stay with her in her beautiful home. It was suppose to be a week or two... 5 weeks later and still no closing date for us. She was about to close in 4 days, we needed to be out in 2. We still didn't have the CO for the house, let alone a closing date and then we found out from the bank that there was no way this was going to happen. I could picture us sleeping in the van... I'm not kidding!
I threw the girls in the stroller to go and walk... okay, to go in the field/ new phase that has not broken ground behind where we were living and YELL at the Lord. To say that I was mad at HIM was an understatement. And I was going to tell Him why.
Why did he make it VERY clear, at least we thought He did, that He wanted us back in Charleston. To leave family, a job and our never ending church search? Why did He "open" this door for us to buy a home and waste all this money to just shut it at the last minute with the HUGE threat of being homeless (okay not really, but in the moment of panic I was seriously thinking that we were. Our friends begged to differ). Why? We have two small babes, one of which does terrible with change and the momma is worst! I found myself praying out loud, then yelling, then almost screaming, WHY, WHY, WHY?
And then something happened, that never happens. At least not to me. I literally felt the Lord speak to me. He said, "Abbey, my little sinner child that is so blind, I have been here the whole time. I have given you signs over and over. You didn't listen. I tried to give you wise counsel. Several different people in fact. You didn't listen to them either. You know that peace that I give you now and then? You know why you never had it about this home? This is why. It's a no. You really should listen after you pray for things, I do hear you! Those 2 little babes that you pray about all the time and I gave you, I made them, remember? I will protect them and you. I have never once left you, let you be hungry or cold. Hot, yes, but that's your fault. Do you remember that?"
Insert ugly crying all the way home. With jeggings on and dansko's and my husbands white tube socks. I was a mess, it was ugly. I had to tell Frank when he got home. He wasn't freaking out. He was calm. I needed him to be calm. I was still ugly crying.
The cry was several parts:
1. Repentance for the disobedience.
2. Relief. I never had a peace about that home.
3. Remorse. I knew I had screwed up. And it was an expensive lesson to learn. Ouch.
The story ends with redemption. We found a cute house in park circle. We have great neighbors and we have claimed this house, the house of healing. Financial healing. Family healing. And we are ready for 2012 and all the joy and pain that is going to come. Bring it on!